Just Follow The Instructions

When faced with the ultimate crisis for any publisher (not having enough copy to fill the page) the obvious choice is to immediately dive for the file cabinet which contains the all-important "filler" material. I'm sure that everyone out there is familiar with what I'm talking about.

If you actually take the time to look through the morning newspaper, you'll be amazed at the incredible amount of filler that's utilized. Usually referred to as tidbits, or factoids, these innuendo's of information are often the makings of Jeopardy champions.

Well before we stoop to the levels of such fillers as

"Albino Mongoose Population On The Decline"
"Lava Rock Used As Paperweight"
"Nuclear Laser Makes Perfect Doughnut Holes"

we elected to remain purely technical, and try to get through the several hundred offerings our readers have sent in. In keeping with the time-honored tradition of actually holding these people accountable for some of this stuff they've contributed, I am humbled and proud (is that really possible?) to add the name of Wayne R. Williams to the Op Code Hall Of Fame.

BCTR - Be Callous To Rookies

CCWR - Change Color of Write Ring

CFS - Corrupt File Structure

CIB - Change Important Byte

CLM - Confuse Lessor Minds

CIMM - Create Imaginary Memory Map

CMD - Compare Meaningless Data

CNIO - Crash on Next I/O

COS - Copy Object code to Source File

CRASH - Continue Running After Stop or Halt

CRM - lear Random Memory

CRN - Convert to Roman Numerals

CVFL - Convert Floating to Logical

CVFP - Convert Fortran to Pascal

CVG - Convert to Garbage

CBL - Desegregate Bus Lines

DBZ - Divide by Zero

DDS - Destroy Disk Surface

DEC - Decompile Executable Code

DIIL - Disable Interrupts and enter Infinite Loop

DK - Destroy Klingons

DLP - Drain Literal Pool

DMPK - Destroy Memory Protect Key

DO - Divide and Overflow

DPC - Decrement Program Counter

DPMI - Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent

DPR - Destroy Program

DPS - Disable Power Supply

DRFC - Draw Flowchart

DRI - Disable Random Interrupt

DRT - Disconnect Random Terminal

DS - Deadlock System

DSI - Do Something Interesting

DSPK - Destroy Storage Protect Key

DST - Destroy Status

DTC - Destroy This Command

DTI - Do The Impossible

DTRT - Do the Right Thing

DTVFL - Destroy Third Variable From Left

DUF - Delete Useless Files

DWIM - Do What I Mean

DWIT - Do What I'm Thinking

EAO - Execute in Any Order

EBRS - Emit Burnt Resistor Smell

EC - Erase Core

ED - Execute Data

EDR - Execute Destructive Read

EEP - Erase Entire Program

EFD - Eject Floppy Disk

EHD - Eject Hard Disk

EIOP - Execute Invalid Opcode

EIR - Execute Instructions Randomly

EMSL - Entire Memory Shift Left

EPT - Erase Process Table

ESL - Execute at the Speed of Light

EVC - Execute Verbal Commands

FPC - Feed Paper Continuously

FPT - Fire Photon Torpedos

GMC - Generate Machine Check

GND - Guess Next Digit

GRE - Generate Random Error

HCF - Halt and Catch Fire

HCS - Halt in Critical Section

HDR - Halt and Display Random memory

HF - Hide File

HIS - Halt in Impossible State

HO - Hide Output

HPO - Halt and Punch Operator

IAC - Investigate Alternate Careers

IAM - Increment Arbitrary Memory Location

IBR - Insert Bugs at Random

ICM - Ignore Curious Manager

ICMD - Initiate Core Melt Down

ICSP - Invert CRT Screen Picture

IDC - Initiate Destructive Command

IDI - Invoke Divine Intervention

IDPS - Ignore Disk Protect Switch

IEOF - Ignore End Of File

IF - Invoke Force

IIC - Insert Invisible Characters

INT - Insert Noise into Transmissions

IOI - Ignore Operator's Instructions

IPS - Incinerate Power Supply

IPT - Ignite Paper Tape

IRC - Insert Random Commands

IRE - Insert Random Errors

IRPF - Infinite Recursive Page Fault

ISC - Insert Sarcastic Comments

ISI - Increment and Skip on Infinity

ISP - Increment and Skip on Pi

IU - Ignore User

LCC - Load and Clear Core

LCK - Lock Console Keyboard

LEB - Link Edit Backwards

LIA - Load Ineffective Address

LMB - Lose Message and Branch

LMYB - Logical MaYBe

LOSO - Logoff System Operator

LRD - Load Random Data

MAN - Make Animal Noises

MBTD - Mount Beatles on Tape Drive

MC - Move Continuous

MCS - Make Console Smoke

MDB - Move and Drop Bits

MLP - Multiply and Lose Precision

MLR - Move and Lose Record

MNI - Misread Next Instruction

MR - Melt Registers

MSGD - Make Screen Go Dim

MTI - Make Tape Invalid

MTPQ - Move to Top of Print Queue

MVCL - Move To Cleveland

MZ - Multiply by Zero

NI - Nod Intelligently

OCF - Open Circular File

OML - Obey Murphy's Law

OSI - Overflow Stack Indefinitely

OTL - Out to Lunch

PAS - Print and Smear

PAUD - Pause Dramatically

PBC - Print and Break Chain

PBM - Pop Bubble Memory

PD - Punch Disk

PDC - Power Down CPU

PEHC - Punch Extra Holes in Cards

PFML - Print Four Million Lines

PIC - Print Illegible Characters

PPL - Perform Perpetual Loop

PPP - Print Programmer's Picture

PPSW - Pack Program Status Word

PSP - Print and Shred Paper

PSR - Print and Shred Ribbon

RA - Randomize Answer

RAM - Reorganize and Abort Monitor

RBC - Read and Bend Card

RBLY - Restore Backup from Last Year

RBT - Read Blank Tape

RCB - Read Commands Backwards

RCR - Rewind Card Reader

RCSD - Read Card and Scramble Data

RDB - Read Disk Backwards

RDD - Reverse Disk Drive

RDF - Randomize Directory Filenames

RET - Read and Erase Tape

RFP - Read from Printer

RIR - Read Invalid Record

RIRG - Read Inter-Record Gap

RLC - Relocate and Lose Core

RLP - Refill Light Pen

RM - Randomize Memory

RNR - Read Noise Record

ROM - Read Operator's Mind

ROP - Run Out of Paper

ROPF - Read Other People's Files

RPB - Raise Parity Sometimes

RST - Rewind and Stretch Tape

RTS - Return to Sender

RVR - Rename Variables Randomly

SAD - Seek and Destroy

SAI - Skip All Instructions

SC - Scramble Channels

SCI - Shred Cards Immediately

SCOM - Set COBOL-Only Mode

SCR - Scramble Registers

SCST - Switch Channel to Star Trek

SDC - Spool Disk to Console

SDE - Solve Differential Equations

SDI - Self-Destruct Immediate

SFH - Set Flags Half-Mast

SFT - Stall For Time

SHC - Shuffle Cards

SID - Switch to Infinite Density

SLP - Sharpen Light Pen

SLR - Stall, Loaf, and Rationalize

SMD - Spontaneous Memory Dump

SMS - Shred Mylar Surface

SNM - Show No Mercy

SOP - Stop and Order Pizza

SPA - Sliding Point Arithmetic

SPSW - Scramble Program Status Word

SRBO - Set Random Bits to Ones

SRBZ - Set Random Bits to Zeros

SRC - Skip to Random Channel

SRD - Switch to Random Density

SRO - Sort with Random Ordering

SRR - Set Registers to Random Values

SSB - Scramble Status Byte

SSM - Solve by Supernatural Means

SSP - Smoke and Spark

ST - Stretch Tape

STTB - Set Terminal to Three-hundred Baud

SUP - Solve Unsolvable Problems

SWN - Swap Nibbles

SWOS - Swap Out Operating System

SZD - Switch to Zero Density

TCO - Turn Core Off

TDB - Transfer and Drop Bits

TDS - Trash Data Segment

TILO - Turn Indicator Lights Off

TPO - Turn Power Off

TRA - Te Rdls Arvs (Type Ridiculous Abbreviations)

TTITT - Turn 2400 foot tape Into Two 1200 foot tapes

UAI - Use Alternate Instructions Set

UCB - Uncouple CPU and Branch

UER - Update and Erase Record

UMR - Unlock Machine Room

UO - Useless Operation

UTF - Unwind Tape onto Floor

UUBR - Use Undefined Base Register

VPA - Vanishing Point Arithmetic

VVM - Vaporize Virtual Memory

WCR - Write to Card Reader

WPET - Write Past End of Tape

WSWW - Work in Strange and Wondrous Ways

WWLR - Write Wrong Length Record

WWR - Write Wrong Record

XMB - Exclusive Maybe

ZD - Zap Directory