Predictions for 1992

Well kids, we've managed to make it through another year, and as we venture into 1992 we're once again faced with that time honored tradition of New Year Resolutions and New Year Predictions. Having traversed many a New Year myself, I took a few moments to reflect on all of those resolutions I've made over the years. The truth of the matter is, I can't recall a single resolution I made that I've actually kept. With that harsh reality staring me in the face, I quickly made a management decision and considered the realm of prediction. And why not? It's a pretty big cosmos out there, and there's certainly room for one more visionary!

So with deference to the likes of Jean Dixon, Nostradamus, Karnak the Magnificent, and Sister Juanita (Psychic Readings and Nail Emporium), here are my predictions for 92:

• The crew of the Enterprise will once again grace the silver screen in Star Trek VII - The Wrath Of Cohen, in which travellers from the planet ALCS 2 violate the neutral zone and attempt to establish a base in the U.S..
  
• Teams of TPF technical writers from around the globe will convene in Danbury, Connecticut to begin the monumental task of creating enough meaningful documentation to finally fill all of those "intentionally left blank" pages in IBM manuals.
  
• Somebody will submit a ZFCAPTION entry and save me the trouble of printing that photo AGAIN!
  
• IBM's announcement of their FARF-4 addressing scheme will be overshadowed by Amadeus' announcement of the FARF-FEGNEUGAN addressing scheme.
  
• An operator at the Internal Revenue Service in Martinsburg, West Virginia will bring an end to that shop's unmatched record of 100% availability, when he inadvertently cycles the system above 1052 state for the first time since implementation in 1986.
  
• Steven Spielberg will produce a sequel to the movie Hook in 1992. The story centers on the kidnapping of Peter's butler by the evil pirate Dewey Decimal, and is entitled Pan Valet and the Library Manager.
  
• WORLDSPAN will start to do something.
  
• Borland International will announce their C+++, C++++, and C+++++ products after one of their junior accountants discovers that each "+" adds two more zeros to their net profit.
  
• Amdahl CE Thumbs Mellman will mistakenly grab the wrong floppy disk to upgrade a processor for Qantas Airlines. The floppy which contains a digitized version of "If I Only Had A Brain" from the movie The Wizard of Oz not only IML's completely, but Qantas never again experiences a TPF outage on that processor.
  
• And last, but certainly not least: An group of MVS Systems programmers in Chicago will write a book detailing their experiences in data processing. Highlighting their many years of writing code, busting dumps, and patching the operating system in crisis situations, the text will go on to win the coveted Hugo and Nebulus Awards for Outstanding Science Fiction.

To all of my friends, associates, and fellow ACP/TPF/ALCS professionals... Best wishes for a happy, healthy, and rewarding 1992.

Alan Sadowsky